Alana's Diary

4:30am - Mommy and Daddy look like they're sound asleep. Time to wake them up!
4:42am - Well, that was fun. It looks like they feel back asleep. Time for "Chapter 2: Snooze is over!"
5:37am - I feel a doodie coming on. If I cry enough I can get daddy to change me now and can have him take my diaper off just in time for me to toss him a poo grenade!
7:52am - Well, Daddy escaped to work. That's OK - Gramma's more fun anyway. She'll change me 3 or 4 times in a row just to find an outfit I like. Only a week old and getting spoiled already, this is the life!
8:16am - Feeding time again. Mommy is like a drill sargent with this thing. Every three hours! If I could tell time I could set my watch by it!
8:43am - This whole burping thing is nuts. One day when I'm older I'm going to have to ride a wooden wagon down a brick paved street and relive the whole experience!
10:26am - Breast milk again? How bout we mix in a salad or something? Maybe a nice chateaubriand with a dry cab?
2:30pm - Weeeeee! They're taking out the stroller! Woo-hoo! I love this thing! Baby's going out! Let the boys of the world be warned! Alana on the prowl!
3:50pm - Every store we go into has nothing but strollers and diapers and baby clothes. It's almost like they built the whole store just for me! A lady can get used to that kind of service.
5:16pm - Daddy's home! Alright, let's see - I ate about a half hour ago, I haven't been changed yet, and I haven't been burped. In other words, the Perfect Storm . . . mwuahahahaha!
7:32pm - Everybody's eating but me! And that smells good! Not as good as breast milk, but hey, not everybody can eat like a Princess.
8:24pm - Trying . . . to . . . stay . . . awake . . . through . . . synchronized . . . swimming . . . competition. Most . . . boring . . . thing . . . ever.
11:52pm - Everybody's asleep. When the cat's away, the mice will - SCREAM AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS AND GIVE EVERYBODY A BIG SURPRISE HAHAHAHA
1:46am - About 21 years from now, I'm going to be in a bar in the City hearing some big dude say "Last Call! Ya don't have to go home but ya can't stay here!" Ahhh . . . Just 20 years and 51 weeks to go . . .